This week is a very bad week. i got depressed 2x. Cried 2x. Drank 2 glasses of hard liquor. Skipped my fren's b-day party. Sleep at wee hours in the morning. Made liting wait for me coz i over slept. Think of all sorts of things that scare me. Bought an unbelievable expensive demin skirt. made him sponsor half of the cost. Bought two shirts, a cap, a skirt in a week. Thinking of naughty things. Conclusion: i haven been behaving. Bad week.
Wat mich said to me on msn woke me up. Then i realized that i haven’t been moving on much. I never stop thinking of him every min, i never stop talking abt him, i never stop blaming the government for everything, I never stop thinking if wat our future will be like. Actually, in fact, I really got other things i can do. For the moment, i don think it worth been so pathetic n weak. Afterall, all the fun n luffer n joy n talk-tok session with his 12 other frens he is having, will seldom make him think of me.
I think to him smsing seemed a chore coz he never replies them. Calling is extra coz half of the time, he is listening to his fren's conversation n talking to them instead. Maybe i must be not greedy, satisfy coz he actually called, i could hear his voice and him breathing.
For the first time, I never get to hear his voice and his breathing for 24 hours. It means a lot. Suddenly, I got a urge to see him immediately. I don’t care what he did to me. I jus wan to see “my pillar, my strength”. The weaker side of me is taking over. I’m sorry to disappoint everyone. I really can’t move on yet.
I miss him.
What about him?
